May 3, 2011

Drama: A History Part 3

First, let me just say that you gals make me laugh!  I really wanted to document this 'chapter' in my life and didn't even think that anyone would be interested to hear about it or read it!  I am glad that you do, however, and comment because it makes it a lot easier on me to continue to post about it. 

Second, I want to back up a bit and add a couple of details.  When I went on bed rest at 24 weeks, my dad cut my paycheck the very next week.  We had originally agreed that I would get a full check through the rest of the month (it was August 4th that I went on bed rest) as maternity leave/pay.  But I guess he was pissed that I left and that I was going to stay at home after the girls were born.  Even though I had been trying to prepare him for that very thing for the last six months.  It was our accountant at the time who gave me half a paycheck and she, bless her heart, told me that she would just keep giving me half paychecks until he stopped signing them!  It lasted 6 weeks.  The thing is-it's not like I planned on being on bed rest at 24 weeks.  He acted like I did it on purpose.  Now, since I left, he needed an estimator.  And who better than my brother in law. And while we're at it, let's give him $10,000 more a year to do the exact.same.job that I was doing.  Yes.  You read that correctly.  I didn't add too many zeros.  Also, that car I was driving?  Gone.  BIL needed it.  I offered to buy it and dad wouldn't even entertain the idea.  (this comes into play later in the story, so remember this.  I do.)  The cell phone?  Gone.  I was dropped like a hot potato.

Also, when the girls were in the NICU, my mom's top priority was to get them out of there.  She kept telling me to 'go and get them' and that 'they didn't need to be in there'.  I was still on magnesium sulfate and couldn't even have the lights or tv on... let alone get out of bed to go break my girls out of the NICU!  (not that I wanted to.  I love the NICU nurses.)  The point being that instead of saying to me, "you need to heal.  Don't worry about the girls, they will be fine."  She didn't give two shits about me, all she wanted was to see the babies. 

Now, back to the continuation of the drama.  I was going to try to make it a trilogy, but I don't know if I will fit it all into this last post!

So, dad agreed that I could bring the girls to work and I started bringing car loads of gear to the office.  Craigslist became my friend and I bought cribs, changing table, toys, highchairs, etc.  Everything we had at home, we had at the office because I didn't want to haul everything everyday.  And since I was going to be getting a paycheck again, I decided why not?  Dad acted all surprised at this.  At one point he said, "I thought you would just bring some blankets and a play pin."  Seriously?? 

I didn't argue for more money, as he brought me back at what I left at, because I had the freedom to have the girls with me and I was hourly so I could really come and go as I pleased.  However, I came back as the accountant and running brother in laws check every week was like a needle pricking me in the same place every week..  After a while it gets pretty sore. 

So mom came to the office 4 days a week and my MIL one day a week to watch the girls while I worked.  I was only supposed to work part time, but I worked 35-40 hours a week because I knew full well what 'part time' meant to dad. 

This worked okay for a while, until mom's main purpose was to fix lunch and talk and shmoose with the crew and business people rather than watch the girls.  And MIL was no better.  Lunch was a fiasco.  Both of them would start cooking at the girls morning nap (10 am) and then they would serve the food and then clean up usually working until their afternoon nap (2:30 pm).  I always bring mine and the girls lunch, so it's not like we benefited from this.  And there were several times that I had to remind each of them that it was time for the girls to eat.  The girls would just be playing in their area all the while this was going on. 

Then, dad got sick again during a very critical time for the business.  And who do you think stepped up?  Brother in law with the big salary?  Or me, cinderella?  (haha)  You got it.  Me.  I was dealing with bankers.  I was dealing with creditors.  I was traveling back and forth from mom and dads house to the office.  I fought tooth and nail to pump life into this business.  Dad came back and he also fought tooth and nail.  Alas, in January, dad had to make some incredibly hard decisions. 

Since the end of January, we have been breaking down the company and liquidating everything.  A very painful and slow process. 

And that's all for today!  Not because I enjoy leaving you hanging, but because I have to put it all together in my head before I write about it and it takes some time to sift through all this crap.  :)


strongblonde said...

yikes. it's so much to deal with :( i wish that you didn't have to deal with it.

i'm so wondering what happened!!

lifeasdescribed said...


Omg, I'm just now getting all caught up on the d-r-a-m-a. Sheesh girl, that's a lot to deal with. At times I think my family is too out of the loop with our lives, but I guess in some ways I should be glad. Let's face it, everyone needs their space. You are so awesome for bouncing back like that and stepping in to help your dad. Even though he got weird about you leaving on bedrest (which totally boggles my mind), that is so "grown-up" :) of you to look past it the way you did, though I'm sure it wasn't easy. So many people would never do that.

Family can be awkward to manage at times... learning to love them for who they are {but not what they do or "how they are"} and both accept their faults while also setting boundaries for yourself and what is both acceptable for you and your family. Not an easy task, that's for sure. My husband's dad is someone we have to "manage" for example and I find that I have to help with that quite a bit because of the dynamics between father/son {often my husband gets walked on and I have to step in, point it out and talk with my husband about that not being ok and that he needs to stand up for himself... it's so easy to fall back into the life he knew growing up, which often wasn't healthy.}

Anyway, wanted to say that I really commend you for opening up. That's the great thing about good friends and/or blogs. :) It's safe to do that!

Thinking of you and hoping that your dad's health is holding up.


Johanna said...

Ok, so I'm mad at your family FOR you! Hurry up and finish the story... I'm hooked! :)

Life with Gemelos said...

I can't believe all this really happened to you. It sounds like a really over-exagerated sitcom. You poor thing! You are an amazing woman to be able to deal with all of that and still have a great attitude about things! Your family is absolutely rediculous!

St Elsewhere said...

Just read through your last few posts...especially the drama part, and lady, you have been through SO MUCH. I am glad you have Jeff and the girls, otherwise there seems to be no other rainbow in the story.

I think you need to break away and work someplace else, but as I can see, you are already liquidating the business.

I hope you tide over this crap...

And hey, there is something waiting for you on my blog, when you are in the mood for something lighter.

strongblonde said...

ok. so i totally nominated you for a blog award. because you're awesome. no pressure :)

Lost in Space said...

Wow. Wow. Wow. I don't know how you didn't post date his check a time or 2. Freaking unbelievable.

Lost in Space said...

I know I was here once already, but blogger is eating things these days.

I'm almost scared to hear the next installment. FWIW, I think you deserve the "I can put up with the most shit without snapping" award. Seriously.