April 27, 2011

Drama: A History, Part 2

And so, at 18 weeks pregnant, I went on restricted duty.  It was bed rest, but I convinced myself that it was restricted duty.  I worked part time and the other part of the time, Jeff was struggling to get the house ready for the twins arrival.  He had to do all of the cooking, cleaning, etc. Everyday, my legs and feet were the size of tree trunks and at this point, my blood pressure started slowly, steadily creeping up.  At 24 weeks, I was now on STRICT bed rest because of pre-eclampsia and contractions. 

It would be over the next ten weeks that the drama was really laid on thick.  My mom was at my house nearly everyday.  And if she was there, my sister would make herself welcome too.  I would tell my mom that I did not want my sister there, but there was always some excuse as to why she had to stop by.  Like, "she was bringing me my sweater that I let her borrow."  It was a nightmare.  I look back and think that half the reason my blood pressure was so high was because of the stress these two put on me. 

My sister, who's house looks like a tornado went through it all the time, decided to 'clean' my house because it "was filthy."  My mom decided to do laundry too, to make things easier on me.  Well several nights in August 2009, Jeff came home to a kitchen that was totally re-arranged (you know, because it was such a mess and all), clothes that were shrunk/ruined in the wash, a pregnant wife that could only sit there and have no clue what's happening downstairs, and someone always parking in front of his spot in the garage.  It's a wonder he didn't snap.  I would tell them not to do anything, but they would do it anyway.  Then they acted like they were SO helpful.  That we just couldn't have gotten along without them.  To this day, my mom tells stories about how much she helped me when I was on bed rest.

Then came the delivery.  Jeff and I decided....well, actually I decided, that I didn't want my whole family in the delivery room.  Now, because I was having twins, this was do-able because the actual delivery took place in the OR, just in case I needed an emergency c-section.  It was the before and after that was worrisome.  Just like we had anticipated, my mom and dad, sister, BIL, nephews, aunt's, and uncle's were at the hospital.  (Jeff's family was vacationing so they weren't there.  They were pissed at us for not going on vacation with them because I might have gone into labor... TADA!  I did go into labor.  It worked out for the best that they weren't there because we all know what happens when the two families get together! And since it was an already stressful situation, I think we avoided a potential war of the worlds.) They only allowed one other person into the pre-delivery room besides Jeff.  So there was all sorts of drama.  I had one tough nurse who stood up to my dad and at a certain point told everyone that there would be no one allowed back anymore.  Man oh man, was my dad pissed!  I love that nurse.  Finally, at around 11 pm.  Everyone left and I delivered at 1:32 am and 1:38 am.  My sister was mad because I didn't call her back to the hospital.

After the delivery, the girls were taken to the NICU, again causing a family uproar because they couldn't hold and love on the babies the minute they were born.  I was suffering from post partum preeclampsia and didn't get to see the girls for 3 days after they were born, but my parents were outraged that they didn't get to see them.  They didn't care to see me.  Just the babies.

During the first 9 months of the girls' life, they cried. and cried.  and cried.  To my incredible dismay, and to Jeff's as well, I had to have help.  My mom, AGAIN, was at my house nearly everyday.  She led me down the wrong path enough times that I stopped taking her advice.  (for example, she wanted me feed them cereal at 4 months old.  Adjusted age = 2 months old.... How crazy is that?!  To feed a 2 month old cereal.  Or she wanted me to give them whiskey water for everything-hiccups, tummy ache, teething)  Yet, she is the BEST grandma in the world, don't you know.  She gets so upset when I google something rather than take her advice.  Haha. I do it just to piss her off.

When the girls were 9 months old, my dad all but begged me to go back to work.  I had one condition-I wanted to bring my girls with me. 

And so, last July, the drama got moved from home to work.  (Which was a far better situation.  My home was my sanctuary that got infiltrated for a year.  Since I went back to work, I have reclaimed my territory and turned my home back into my sanctuary.)

However, the drama continues...


BumpyJourney said...

oooh the drama. I forgot this all! I can't imagine! can't wait to hear the rest of the story......

April said...

hmmmm....i'm not good at waiting. :) i want to know the rest.

i've been avoiding posting about b's mom's last visit. i think i did really good about not letting it bother me. BUT i did tell her that she needs to stop playing so many games and grow up. i thought she was going to fall out of her chair.


can't wait for the next installment. ;)

Amanda said...

Those are some seriously immature family members you've got. How you keep from slapping them is beyond me.

What IF? said...

I honestly don't know how you survived these constant intrusions masquerading as "help." Your family has no sense of boundaries and you have every right to set limits. It's incredibly difficult to accept help with multiples, but with the right people, it can be amazing. I am so sorry that the "help" you received came at such a high cost. You deserve so much more!

Oh, how sad that you didn't see your girls for 3 days after birth. I had post-partum pre-e (HELLP Syndrome) too, and it sucked beyond measure to have been separated from my kids after birth. Such a freakin' raw deal after infertility! I still feel wronged by how their birth happened. Have you found peace about that?

Lost in Space said...

Your cliff hangers are mean. (-;

I'm sorry you have had such a trying time with your family!! It's making living half way across the country from my family and in-laws feel alright.