April 27, 2011

Drama: A History, Part 2

And so, at 18 weeks pregnant, I went on restricted duty.  It was bed rest, but I convinced myself that it was restricted duty.  I worked part time and the other part of the time, Jeff was struggling to get the house ready for the twins arrival.  He had to do all of the cooking, cleaning, etc. Everyday, my legs and feet were the size of tree trunks and at this point, my blood pressure started slowly, steadily creeping up.  At 24 weeks, I was now on STRICT bed rest because of pre-eclampsia and contractions. 

It would be over the next ten weeks that the drama was really laid on thick.  My mom was at my house nearly everyday.  And if she was there, my sister would make herself welcome too.  I would tell my mom that I did not want my sister there, but there was always some excuse as to why she had to stop by.  Like, "she was bringing me my sweater that I let her borrow."  It was a nightmare.  I look back and think that half the reason my blood pressure was so high was because of the stress these two put on me. 

My sister, who's house looks like a tornado went through it all the time, decided to 'clean' my house because it "was filthy."  My mom decided to do laundry too, to make things easier on me.  Well several nights in August 2009, Jeff came home to a kitchen that was totally re-arranged (you know, because it was such a mess and all), clothes that were shrunk/ruined in the wash, a pregnant wife that could only sit there and have no clue what's happening downstairs, and someone always parking in front of his spot in the garage.  It's a wonder he didn't snap.  I would tell them not to do anything, but they would do it anyway.  Then they acted like they were SO helpful.  That we just couldn't have gotten along without them.  To this day, my mom tells stories about how much she helped me when I was on bed rest.

Then came the delivery.  Jeff and I decided....well, actually I decided, that I didn't want my whole family in the delivery room.  Now, because I was having twins, this was do-able because the actual delivery took place in the OR, just in case I needed an emergency c-section.  It was the before and after that was worrisome.  Just like we had anticipated, my mom and dad, sister, BIL, nephews, aunt's, and uncle's were at the hospital.  (Jeff's family was vacationing so they weren't there.  They were pissed at us for not going on vacation with them because I might have gone into labor... TADA!  I did go into labor.  It worked out for the best that they weren't there because we all know what happens when the two families get together! And since it was an already stressful situation, I think we avoided a potential war of the worlds.) They only allowed one other person into the pre-delivery room besides Jeff.  So there was all sorts of drama.  I had one tough nurse who stood up to my dad and at a certain point told everyone that there would be no one allowed back anymore.  Man oh man, was my dad pissed!  I love that nurse.  Finally, at around 11 pm.  Everyone left and I delivered at 1:32 am and 1:38 am.  My sister was mad because I didn't call her back to the hospital.

After the delivery, the girls were taken to the NICU, again causing a family uproar because they couldn't hold and love on the babies the minute they were born.  I was suffering from post partum preeclampsia and didn't get to see the girls for 3 days after they were born, but my parents were outraged that they didn't get to see them.  They didn't care to see me.  Just the babies.

During the first 9 months of the girls' life, they cried. and cried.  and cried.  To my incredible dismay, and to Jeff's as well, I had to have help.  My mom, AGAIN, was at my house nearly everyday.  She led me down the wrong path enough times that I stopped taking her advice.  (for example, she wanted me feed them cereal at 4 months old.  Adjusted age = 2 months old.... How crazy is that?!  To feed a 2 month old cereal.  Or she wanted me to give them whiskey water for everything-hiccups, tummy ache, teething)  Yet, she is the BEST grandma in the world, don't you know.  She gets so upset when I google something rather than take her advice.  Haha. I do it just to piss her off.

When the girls were 9 months old, my dad all but begged me to go back to work.  I had one condition-I wanted to bring my girls with me. 

And so, last July, the drama got moved from home to work.  (Which was a far better situation.  My home was my sanctuary that got infiltrated for a year.  Since I went back to work, I have reclaimed my territory and turned my home back into my sanctuary.)

However, the drama continues...

April 19, 2011

More on the Stroller

I wanted to elaborate a bit more in regard to the stroller.  Since the girls were born, we have used the graco duo glider travel system.  Which I really loved. 
Coincidentally, it is blue and gray also.  Not pink.  I used to loath the color.  It is the ONLY thing that we have that isn't pink! lol.  I used to get ticked when people couldn't tell if the girls were indeed girls or if they were boys and I blamed the color of the stroller because they are always dressed in girly clothes and colors and have pretties in their hair.  Jeff still teases me all the time telling me that I have got the cutest boys evah!  Anyway, it was so easy to unsnap the car seat from the base and snap it onto the stroller.  I was really smooth at this process (as I am sure every mommy gets to be) so that the girls wouldn't even realize that I moved them.  Often, I would get them home, move them into their room, and let them nap in their car seats.  The stroller is maneuverable, easy to fold, unfold, sunshades are good, good storage, fits through a standard door, and the girls are were comfortable riding in it.   I really thought this would be the one and only stroller that we would have to buy. 

HA!  Ignorance is bliss.

Well, the girls are fussy from the time I put them in it until the time I take them out anymore.  The one in back (either one) constantly kicks the seat of the one in front.  The one in front constantly squirms and kicks and tries to look at the one in back.  The back seat is angled and seems like the baby is going to slide right out if they weren't strapped in.  The 5 point harness is a pain in the arse to hook up, so I usually just use the lap belts. 

It was good for quite some time and I definitely got my money's worth and would recommend the stroller in a heart beat... BUT there is a possibility that the kiddos will 'grow out of it.'

So when I was looking for a new stroller, I wasn't looking for a 'jogging' stroller necessarily.  Let's face it, I am probably not going to go jogging anytime soon! haha.  I had a list of criteria (don't we all!) and this stroller met most of them.  (Again, I haven't got it yet, so much is to be determined)
  1. Side by side.  Obviously, it meets this. 
  2. Fits through door way.  The jury is still out on this one as some reviews said it does and some say it doesn't... It is 33 inches wide.  Standard (American) doorway is 36 inches.  It should...
  3. Good storage.  This has a big underneath compartment, plus it has pockets on the back of the seats for extra storage
  4. Maneuverability.  I made sure I got the pivoting front wheel, with the option to lock it straight.  Reviews said that the front wheel may wobble excessively, but there were also reviews saying how to correct the problem. 
  5. Nice canopy.  This canopy, unlike many others I looked at, ratchets to adjust to whatever position to provide shade.  So even if the sun is head-on, I can adjust the canopy. 
Those were specific criteria, and with this stroller, I got a few bonus features:
  1. Seats recline to several positions independently.
  2. mp3 player hookup with speakers.
  3. a "parent organizer with two cup holders"
  4. Quick release wheels
I also read reviews that stated for people with a long stride (I am 5'10" and my hubby is 6'0"), it is nice because you don't keep kicking the axle or third wheel (like double umbrella strollers, maybe?).  More over, most reviews said that it was a dream to push and that it could be pushed "with one finger." 

SOLD! :)  I can't wait to get it.

April 18, 2011

New Stroller

So, after reviewing jogging strollers for a couple of weeks, we have decided to go with the Baby Trend Double Jogging Stroller.  

It ships to us next week.  My only complaint so far (and hopefully at all) is that it is not pink.  I guess everything can't be pink. :(  haha

More drama posts to come. 

April 15, 2011

Drama: A history. Part 1

The first seven years of marriage, in relation to in-laws and my parents, were blissful.  Jeff and I were going to school and working graveyard and didn't have time for much else.  There were many, many times when Jeff and I wouldn't even see each other, much less would we make time to visit family.  I may have talked to my mom once a week.

My parents favor my sister tremendously.  I mean, they will bankrupt themselves, and pretty much have, so that my sister gets what she wants.  When I came to work for my dad, my BIL had been the foreman for 3 years already.  This is when the drama began, really, when I came to work for my dad. 

I took quite a hit in pay (12% actually.  Which is huge.)   I lost 4 paid weeks of vacation.  I lost medical/dental/401K/life insurance benefits.  And, in comparison to BIL, I was making less than he was.  Yet, I had the degree and 5 years experience in management.  They didn't even attempt to make it equal.  Not to mention the fact that I had asked my dad for a job years ago, but he said to go get my degree and experience first and then he would hire me.  BIL didn't have a degree.  He didn't have experience.  My sister whined enough, though. 

BUT, my dad was ill, so that's how it went down.  I did get a company car after a couple of months because I was the estimator at the time.  I got my gas paid for.  At the same time, my dad got deathly (he almost died twice within a couple of months) ill and I was tasked with running the company only a few short months after I started.  Plus, making the two hour trip, one way, to the hospital every.single.day.  PS-the following year, our profits skyrocketed and was the highest profit year in 32 years.    

There were a couple of dramatic years of getting to know my dad and family again.  I remember thinking this very thought when I started working with dad, "I wonder why they are so negative all the time.  I will never be that negative.  Such drama all the time."  I mean, I can honestly remember where I was standing (in my kitchen) and what I was looking at (the cabinet by the sink) when I had that very thought.  My mistake, obviously, was to say, "I will never..."

There is always drama.  And it resets daily.  So, one day, everyone is all caught up in how my sister is going to pay her bills because it's the 'off' season and BIL didn't get 40 hours.   At midnight, the drama resets and the next day it's drama to do with my cousin and how his glamour wife is walking all over him.  Midnight = reset.  The next day it's drama to do with my mom and how the nail lady offended her in some way.  And so on.  It wore thin. fast. 

Then, Jeff and I decided to start TTC.  This opened a whole new world of drama.  I mean, I couldn't even visit the RE without them wanting to know every.last.detail.  They wanted to know when AF came.  How heavy it was.  When it stopped.  What were my estrogen/progesterone levels.  How many follicles do I have.  And so on.  It was exhausting.  It was a nightmare.  The last IVF, I cut it all off.  I told them out right that I was going to keep the details to myself.  And of course, this caused a family uproar.  How would my great Aunt in Kansas live without knowing every detail?? Well, she lived, but I got plenty of guilt and grief laid on as a result of my silence.

And it only got worse as time went on.  By the time I got pregnant, between the fear caused by infertility and the all drama, I never enjoyed it.  In fact, I hated being pregnant.  By 18 weeks, I was on bedrest and the drama got moved from work to home.

.... To be continued.

April 11, 2011

My new song

Oh, how I have been a complete blog slacker... nah, nah, nah, nah!  haha.  Sorry I have been MIA.  I wish I had a good excuse, but I don't.  Well, I kinda do, I guess.  We (Jeff and I) recently celebrated our Birthday's last weekend.  Jeff made delicious BBQ.  He smoked a pork shoulder and made pulled pork with three different BBQ sauces to go with it.  We had both sides of the family over and everyone made it out alive, so I considered it a success!

It's not a secret that my family and Jeff's family don't get along.  In fact, they are like oil and water.  It used to be that they only had to get together one time a year, which was our B-day.  And since our B-day's are so close to each other (5 days), I consider them to get off lucky.  AND, since they girls' B-day's are on the same day (obviously!), now they only have to get together twice a year.   Again, I think they luck out.  They could have to get together 4 times a year!  (gasp!) 

The day went as Jeff and I expected.  My mom and dad showed up first to get in some "quality time" with the girls before everyone else arrived.  (Let's not mention the fact that they see them monday thru friday).  They were quite pissy when the girls were still napping and their plan didn't work out.  Jeff's sister and our niece showed up next with Jeff's Grandma.  Then my sister and brother in law show up with their two rambunctious boys.  The boys immediately are bouncing off the walls looking for something to get into.  (Heaven forbid, they bring something for them to do)  They run to the shed outside, but this isn't our first rodeo and Jeff locked it before the party.  My sister wants me to open her gift NOW because it's just so good that I can't wait and open it with every one else's.  Jeff's parents show up last, which is typical.  Jeff's mom shows up at least a half hour late to everything.  AT LEAST a half hour late.

By this time, the girls are awake from their nap and I put them in the dresses I made for them and bring them downstairs.  Meanwhile, Jeff is serving up the alcohol to take the edge off the room.  There is whispering and snickering coming from both sides.  I over hear typical conversations through out the party.  Jeff's mom calling black people the N-word even though we have told her time and time again not to.  (she doesn't mean any harm, she is just that naive).  Our niece gets offended because her boyfriend is half black.  Jeff's sister goes on and on about her strict diet as a diabetic, yet she is guzzling alcohol.  My mom comparing herself to everyone in every situation.  Only-if you have done something, my mom has done it naked and on fire.  My sister acting like mother of the year while her sons terrorize the house.  My brother in law is outside chain smoking.  (I wish I was out there with him even though I haven't smoked in 7 years!)

We get through dinner without Jeff coming unglued at someone for letting the girls eat off of their forks or drink out of their drinks.  (pet peeve of his... and mine.)  We had to run some interference, but mostly, everyone followed the rules.   Jeff and I opened cards and a few gifts, had some cupcakes and ice cream and everyone went home. 

Big sigh of relief.  It's over.  Until October anyway. 

...to be continued.  I have more to post, but I have to work a little bit today.  Here is a pic of Mickie in the dogs water bucket and an extremely jealous Maddie. ; )