November 9, 2011

Really

It's been a while!  I know.  I really suck.  I also don't have a whole lot of time, so I will keep this short(ish).  Once again, I have been reading, but not commenting.  Just know that I am thinking about all of you.  Here is some stuff in bullets:
    • I got a job.  Finally, after three grueling months and about 5 months of just slightly trying to find work, I am an accountant for a general contractor.  I am in my second week and I really love it
    • It's a woman owned company and I really, really love that.  She lets you bring your babies to work with you for the first 6 months to a year (not that I am having anymore) and I really like that she is so considerate when it comes to matters of the kiddos.   
    • The girls... Well, just Mickie really, is having a REALLY hard time with this transition.  We are working through it, but there have been some tears. 
    • Maddie, I believe, got nurse maids elbow for the THIRD TIME THIS YEAR yesterday.  However, since it wasn't my first rodeo, I did the little maneuver thingy and she was all better.  In fact, she told me, "All better."  When Jeff asked her what was wrong, she said, "all better.  all gone." Too precious.
    • We have (kinda) started potty training!  I am not pushing it, but I have introduced the toitee and when they want to go, we make a big deal of it.  Maddie has actually 'gone in the pot' twice! 
    • I have used the word really a lot in this post thus far.
    • The girls have conversations with each other that I can finally understand and it's is so sweet to listen to.  Not to mention all of our conversations. 
    • At their 2 year appointment, both were the exact same weight and height at 26 pounds and 34" tall.  It was SO cute to watch them get on the 'big girl' scale!  (It is the 41st and 50th percentile, respectively.   If I recall correctly.)
    • They are really staring to use their imagination and it is amazing to watch!  The pretend play all the time!
Well, that's all I can think of.  I can't believe it's November already.  Really.  :)

September 30, 2011

ranked number seven. not good enough for an interview.

September 28, 2011

Still no word on that job.  In the mean time, I have applied for a hand full of others.  I have called them twice and they keep telling me, "you will get an e-mail."  So I check my e-mail about a hundred times an hour and nothing. 

I got the girls' birthday decorations, cake mix (I am making a castle cake!), and dresses.  All that's left is balloons, but I have to go to another store to get those ordered.  Maybe tomorrow. 

A new symphony season starts this week, our first concert is on Saturday.  I am excited.  Other than that, all is pretty quiet around here.

Except that the girls counted to five last night.  I know, they are clearly geniuses!  :)  I keep asking them how old they are and showing them how to put two fingers up.  They are getting it slowly.  And we are practicing saying "trick or treat" so that when Halloween comes, they will be ready!  They are going to be cheer leaders for Halloween.  I picked up their pom-poms today too.  They already have their outfits. 

September 23, 2011

St Elsewhere, I cannot comment on your blog from my computer.  I have tried to fix the problem, and I feel like a tool because I am having so much trouble!!  Know that I am thinking of you and that I WANT to comment!
Life with the Gemelos, Thank you for thinking of me!!  I have not heard yet... It was pretty stiff competition and I am hoping to hear something today.  I have checked my e-mail a hundred times already! 

There were two tests and 26 people.  Yeah.  26 people going for one position.  That shows what our economy is like, eh?  The first test was a "communications" test and I think I did about as well as anyone.  The second test was math.  I love math and I am good at math.  So I am hoping that I did well enough to be one of the top three people, because that's who will get an interview. 

So, as soon as I hear something, I will post. 

Becoming Supermommy, it's nice to 'meet' you too!  Can't wait to visit your blog.

September 20, 2011

For hire

So tomorrow I have to go take a test for an A/P position for the state.  I have been doing all I can to buff up on my skills, but there is really no way to "study."  Hopefully, it is a good day.  A lucky day.  September 21st has always been a good day in the past, having significant meaning, so I am going to hope that hold true tomorrow.

I need a job.  We are doing okay money-wise.  We get what we need and we are making it.  Still, we have had to dip into our savings for unexpected things-like medical bills (Madison's arm) or veterinary bills (my doggies got into quite a fight about a month ago and it looked like a massacre in my living room). 

I want a job.  I have always worked.  I like to work.  I like to make money and spend that money!  I enjoy being in the business world.  Right now, we live in a really nice 3 level home.  4 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 living rooms, on a  nice plot of land.  It is a big house and when we moved in 7 years ago, tomorrow (see one significance of the date?), people wondered what we needed such a big house for.  "It's just you two, right?"  "You have no kids, so why such a big house?"  Well, at the time, we didn't have an answer to those questions.  It was a beautiful house, so we bought it!  The thing is:  While our home is big and beautiful, it is not very functional. 

There are three bedrooms and one bath upstairs.  The kitchen, dining room and living room #1 is on the middle level.  And the fourth bedroom, laundry, bathroom #2, and living room #2 is downstairs.  If you haven't caught the red flag yet, I am waving it high!  Three bedrooms (so master, and the girls rooms) are upstairs with only one bathroom??? WHAT??  Not gonna work forever.   Also, my kitchen is very small.  What I wouldn't give for some cabinets and counter space! 
And yes, we have considered remodeling, however, our house (not to brag, but truth be told) out-values all the houses on our street except one, by 20-30 thousand dollars.  SO if we remodeled, further increasing the value, we would never be able to sell it. 

So, we are going to try to sell our house and move.  We may possibly consider building a home because I have some pretty specific ideas about what I want.  Or we may get lucky and find one that is already built. 

BUT FIRST.  I gotta get a job.  Cross your fingers for tomorrow!

September 12, 2011

Hello, my name is Chelle.  I am a serious bloggie slacker!  I have no excuse, I just have been really sucking it up in the bloggie department.  I have been reading, but not commenting.  Comment slacker too.  If you still want to be my friend, read on! 

So this summer has blown by.  I have not been working... at least not anything traceable!  lol.  I have done a few odds and ends stuff.  I have tried to get some chellstrings business, but that isn't working out like I had hoped.  I still give lessons to Carlos.  He is great! But other than that, not much playing.  The new symphony season starts at the end of September, so I am looking forward to that. 

I am looking for a real job, but times are tough and even with a degree and experience, I have not been at all successful.  Jeff is going back to school in the spring (hopefully...) and I don't want to be the one to stop him from getting his masters just because I want to stay home and play with babies! (Actually toddlers, but I still call them babies now and again)

Speaking of toddlers!!!  OMG, these girls are too much fun!  They turn two October 8th (gasp!), and I am planning a princess party for them.  There is so much to write about each of them and I am actually mad at myself for not documenting better this summer.  They have grown SO much.

Madison:  She is a cuddle bug.  She loves to give whole body hugs and when she gives me a kiss, it's not just one, it three in a row.  She loves to put on her dress up princess shoes!  She has an ornery side to her, like her daddy, and she will take Mickie's toy and run away laughing.  She loves animals.  All animals.  She loves to go to a nearby pond and look/feed the ducks.  We read the same story every night (the little boy and his drum) (rat-a-tat-tat.  Rum-a-tum-tum) and she makes all the animal noises!  She is talking pretty well, and is beginning to actually tell me what she wants instead of the high pitched "uh, uh, uh!"  I have yet to cut their hair, and Maddie's has the cutest curly cues ever!

Mackenzie:  She is a mommas girl all the way!  She is very considerate of her sister.  She always helps her up when she falls and she speaks a lot for her.   She talks pretty good, and surprises me sometimes with what she knows.  She loves her stuffed animals, especially her monkey.  She "feeds" them and loves them.  She is very compassionate.  She is very tall, it seems, for her age.  She sometimes gets up once or twice at night and I think she just wants me to cuddle with her... I don't mind!  She has straight hair that almost reaches the middle of her back! 





July 21, 2011

Funktifide.

 I am so in a blogging funk.  Life is good, generally speaking.  I really can hardly keep my feet planted, before someone or something plucks me from the ground like a weed.   And, for the most part, I am good with that. 

My long time friend and I are rekindling our relationship, which is grand!  And she is the only one IRL that knows about this blog.  Jeff is jealous and I am having a hard time with that.  It will be the first that she has learned of this also, if she is reading.  He thinks that everyone, and I mean everyone, that I talk to or come into even a brief contact with is going to replace him.

The thing is, maybe it's true??  Spending so much time with toddlers gives me mountains of time to think. And maybe I am reaching out to anyone to take the place of what is missing in my life.... But don't we all do that to a certain extent?  hmmm.  The problem, is that he doesn't reach out to anyone.  He barely has a relationship with his family, and if it weren't for me, I don't think he would even know his family on the street from a stranger!  (okay, that's a little exaggerated.)

Jeff and I are continuing to 'work on things'.  Most days are good and some days, like yesterday, are really bad.  We argue until the cow's come home (where ever they have been).  And I hate it.  And I fear that one of the girls' first memories is going to be of mommy and daddy fighting.  And I loathe that.

I wish that I felt like delving into all the stuff that we are 'working on' , but it's exhausting and reliving it would be down right torture. 

The girls are doing really good.  I have stopped giving them formula (9-24 month) in the mornings.  Maddie misses it, but Mickie is fine without.  I got criticised from my family constantly about it, so closing that chapter feels good.  Because to me, the above sentence should read:  "I have stopped giving the girls extra nutrition in the morning."  And then people would gasp. 

They are doing really well with table food too, and it amazes people that the girls like vegetables and salad and good-for-you foods.  They also like the not-so-good-for-you foods, but they are treats at our house.  Jeff's cousin tried to give the girls pop and they both spit it out!  :)  that makes me smile.    I still, about once or twice a week supplement in some pureed veggies or fruit, just to get them a boost of nutrition if I think they are lacking.  Other than that, they eat a good variety of foods.    Finally, after almost two years, I can type that.  (ahhh).

And now some pictures, with a video thrown in too:













video








June 24, 2011

Running in circles

...at least that is what I feel like!  I am so far behind on commenting, it's stupid.  I am so far behind on posting, it's stupid.  I have all these posts in my head, but for the life of me, I can't get them out here on the internet.  It's stupid.  :)  I have been reading, though. 

I have only been working two days a week, but have also been giving violin lessons and been playing gigs.  It's fantastic and I really love being busy.  

The girls love being outside, which suites me right down to the ground.  I have really enjoyed getting my garden going and working on things around the house recently.  We have also frequented Jeff's grandmother's house who has a pool and the girls are little water babies.  Yesterday, we went over and I put the girls' hair in pig-tails and they had on their bikinis.  They looked like little girls.  Not babies.  It made me tear up.  In a couple of months (well, october) they will be two (OH MY GAWD), and I have been planning their birthday bash already! 

There is still SO much drama within the family, and who knows, maybe I will make a fifth installment.  However, we have sold the property/office and it closes on July 8th.  So I am officially done working for family on that date.  (Get out the spirits)

I have a post that I need to get off my chest concerning money.  It will basically highlight the fact that DH and I are bad people for having said money as the rest of the family is seemingly without.  I am trying to think of how to write it in a good context, though.  I don't believe I am stuck up and want to be careful not to come off that way.  I do believe that I live a wonderful life.  I don't believe I go without a lot of things. I do believe that DH and I worked for 13 years, and will continue to work, to build this life.  Nothing was ever handed to either of us.  Should it be my fault that other family member's aren't as fortunate?  Should I have to feel guilty?  I don't think so, but it's a constant battle.

I have a lot of pokers in the fire right now as I am sewing a lot lately.  In fact, I made a dress and a purse that I took with me to mexico.  I have made some clothes for the girls.  I have made many aprons and pillows!  I made a "M" pillow for each of the girls and it warms my heart that they can't sleep without it.  :) 

I am also trying my hand at canning 'stuff'.  LOL.  That sentence makes me laugh.  I am going to can tomatoes from my garden this year, I am going to roast and freeze chili's, I will can squash, apples, peaches, and green beans.  I will freeze corn.  I will freeze raspberries.  And I am loving it!  Who knew I was so crafty?   I sure as hell didn't. 

The girls make me laugh every day.  They're vocabulary has exploded (finally!) and they are SO smart.  I'm not just saying that.  haha.  They make connections that astound me.  For example, when we are outside and a plane flies over head, they point and tell me about it.  Then, later, when we were watching a movie and people were getting on a plane (they didn't show a picture of the actual plane, just people boarding), the girls looked up (at the ceiling) and pointed and said, "-aine?"  I thought that was a pretty good connection.  They have also learned that when I go out of the house through the garage, they can get on the window seat and see me in the front yard.  I don't just disappear into the unknown anymore!   Just like when I walk around the car to get the other one out.  They don't think I've left them forever.  Rather, they walk to the front of the car and wait for me.   Clearly, they are geniuses. 

About a month ago, I cut out their morning nap.  They are such great nappers.  Two naps a day until 19 months?  Uncanny.  They take one long nap now at around 12 or 12:30.  The three hour one's are blissful. 

One of these day's Maddie is going to climb out of her crib.  I am dreading that day!  I like being able to put them to bed and not have to chase them back in there 80 times, cause you know that's what will happen.  Of course, they don't know how to turn a door knob yet, so I may be safe there.  (knock on wood..  I will go home today and they'll show me their new trick. lol)  I would really like to keep them in their cribs as long as possible and have them help pick out their big girl bed when the time is right, but we'll see if that will work out. 

Anywho.  I have rattled on for a while now and better get something done at 'work'.  I am not going to guarantee it, but hopefully I will post pictures soon.  :)

June 10, 2011

Where, oh where has my bloggie friend been??

Mexico!  But now I am back and relaxed and rejuvinated and still drunk.  Just kidding.  Kinda. haha.

Anywho, I have been trying to get my groove back, and have been reading, but haven't had a chance to comment yet.  I have great pics of our vaca and I have a video of the girls playing in their pool that is priceless.  So, I will post those soon. 

May 19, 2011

Inadequacy

I debated on posting this, but Life with the Gemelos convinced me!  Thank you!

I need to pour out some good ole emotion for a minute.   This post is not well thought out, and it is probably going to be all over the place.  Good luck.

Strongblonde, Thank you for the award! I will pass that along shortly!

Lost in Space, google IS eating things.  I saw your comment and then it was gone!!  Dammit!  Thank you for leaving another one.  :) 

St. Elsewhere, when I read the words on a previous comment, "I would have gone back to jar food too."  I cried.  Not kidding.  Thank you for saying such a thing!  :)


Since being home, I have feelings of severe inadequacy.  From the time I get the girls up in the morning to the time they go to bed.   I feel like I am always disappointing one of them.  Who do I pick up first in the morning to change diapers?  The other one will always cry.  A "how could you" cry.  Who's shoes do I put on first?  Who do I take out of their car seat first?  And on and on.  It seems like every decision of every day leads to one or the other baby being upset at me. 

Sure, it only lasts a few minutes, even a few seconds.  But after all day?  I am exhausted and inadequate and an overall terrible mommy.  At least that is what I feel. 

It feels like there is never a peaceful moment between the three of us.  My mother in law, who just had a vacation, told me about a little boy younger than the girls who was on the plane with them that was perfectly content for the three and a half hour trip.  My immediate response was, "They are so LUCKY!"  I feel jealous of people who have content children, as it seems like if one of mine is content, the other surely is not. 

And then, after the whole table food incident last week?  I was at my limit.  I desperately needed to hear reassurance, that I never got.  Not even from Jeff.  He eluded to the fact that "I jumped in with both feet and that never works."  Oh.  Thanks for the tip.  And so, this week, I am super gun shy as I am preparing to go wake the girls up for the day.

So, off I go.

UPDATE:  I feel mucho, mucho better.  Life with the Gemelos, you are right, and I appreciate your comment.  We are on a better schedule this week and it has been a good week. 

May 18, 2011

Say What?

The girls have been talking more lately.  I was worried, as it seems I am for every milestone, that they would never talk!  The ped assured me that they were doing fine and that they were probably talking in "twin language" that would evolve to something that I could understand with time.  ;) 

Mickie is very good at signing.  She signs everything she wants or needs and then always takes extra to give to Maddie.  She'll sign 'water' and I give her a sippy cup.  She holds her hand out for Maddie's, so I give it to her too, and she takes it to her sister.  She does the same with crackers, blankets, toys, etc.  It's like, "if I need/want water, so does sissy."  Maddie signs a lot too, but I think she likes to be heard. 

Maddie walked into the bathroom, day before yesterday, while I was drying my hair and said, "sister go?"  I said, "she's in my room."  She replied, "k." and went into my room to find her. 

Then, I was feeding them cereal with milk (which they aren't too sure about it being in milk yet) and when Maddie had all she wanted, she said, "all gone."  I said, "no, there is still some here.  Do you want some more?"  She said, "all done."  and did the sign too.  All the while Mickie was signing 'more.'  They have also learned how to say 'more' along with the sign.  Perhaps it's more effective that way?  haha.

Mickie says dog in the.cutest.way.  It's pronounced with a long "o" like, "doge"  I haven't tired of hearing it yet and she says it all the time!! 

I think Maddie is trying to say bird, but it sounds nothing like bird!! lol.  She points to a bird and gets all excited and says, "Shhtow."  That's her word.  I'm laughing as I type this.

They have really laid on the loving lately too.  Maddie wraps her arms around my neck and smiles and presses her mouth to mine and makes a 'mmmmm' noise.  Me = puddle.

I ask for a hug from Mickie and she shyly comes over and wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a big hug.  And when I tuck them in at night, Mickie will sit up and wait for me to come over and hug her, then lay down and 'pet' her blanket. 

Yesterday, I caught the girls giving each other a full blown hug.  It was adorable, but when they realized I had witnessed the act, they pushed each other away and went about playing in the yard!  I wasn't fast enough with the camera.

May 17, 2011

Drama: A History, Part 4 - Final Installment

Initially, when the decision was made to shut down the business, I felt like my parents were waiting for me to come up with some great idea in order to save it.  Then mom bluntly stated several times that she was ready for it to be over.  That dad shouldn't waste his time going from bank to bank or consider another partner or anything to make it work.  She was all for shutting down and moving on... It didn't register though... She was in denial.  Big time.

Things began dragging on.  Mom and dad told me they didn't feel comfortable with MIL there anymore, so I told her that I would bring the girls to her house from now on, but she said she would just come to my house once a week.  (This I allowed because my MIL really isn't the problem, although she can be difficult to deal with, the real problem is with my mom and sister).  She said that it was a relief because planning the lunches and feeding everyone (which I never asked her to do in the first place), was overwhelming and now she could just concentrate on the girls.  Amen.

My mom then got jealous because MIL got to come out to my house and that would be heaven for my mom.. to come out to my house and have free rein, inviting sister over, and destroying the place while I am at work.... I don't think so.  She remained jealous because I insisted that the girls still come to the office with me, hence she had to come too.  (although, clearly it's a double edged sword).  This back and forth volley continued until the beginning of May, when I went down to two days a week. 

All the while, sister and mom would stir the pot almost everyday.  There were times when mom would just break down crying because her life is "being sold at auction" or "what are we going to do with the plants???"  or "who's going to take this bookshelf??? I just don't know who will take this bookshelf!?"  She would want to know who was on the phone every time it rang or tell dad, "so and so is here" but really it was someone totally different and she didn't know who it was.   Her cell phone would ring off the hook, my sister calling, and she would take it outside as if it was all a big secret.

The emotional roller coaster with dad was hard too.  Someone would do something nice for him, like write off a remainder of debt, or let him use equipment free of charge and he would cry.  That was extremely hard.  Then mom would, somehow, make it all about her. 

Sister decided that she would start doing her 'work from home job' at the office (translated: they didn't pay their internet bill and it got turned off) so she would come by with the boys every chance she got.  And it was total chaos.  The boys would tear through the office, jumping off desks, slamming doors, using the intercom on the phones, making a mess of the kitchen and so forth.  There were a couple of times when I loaded up the girls and left.... Left for an hour or two.  I would get back and everyone would be all pissy because I left.  They knew full well why I left, but I was the bad guy for actually leaving. 

I kept telling Jeff that it was just a little while longer.  That I was only hanging on to get a paycheck, but even I started to doubt those words.  I also had a different motive:  I wanted to see if BIL was going to PAY FOR THE CAR that I offered to buy and dad refused.  The car that got ripped out from under me to give to him.  The car that was kept nice and clean when I had it that now reeked of cigarette and is completely trashed.  That car.  Dad low balled it and told BIL that he would take $5000 for it.  This was back in January.   I waited patiently.  One by one most everyone found a job.  One by one, they all dropped like flies. 

In the middle of April, BIL got offered another job to start in the beginning of May.  And, let me just add, that there were some weeks that dad didn't take home a paycheck.  He barely had enough to keep the utilities on, BUT you better believe that BIL never.ever.missed his paycheck.  And even though we didn't have the money sometimes, I would always take one too.  Of course, my check was lucky to be a third of the amount his was. 

So, one day in April, I went in and was more making conversation than anything and asked mom, did we get any money in? (you know because she knew the ins and outs of the entire business) and she replied, "well, I know BIL gave your dad money for the car."  I went immediately to my computer and saw a deposit for $2400.  Yep.  It's not $5000, but at least it's something!  As if knowing that I would question the amount, my mom came into my office and said to me out of the blue, "I guess he is going to make payments for the rest."  YEAH. RIGHT.  I think we all know the truth there. 

Then dad comes to me a couple of days later and says, "so how are we looking?  Are you pretty much done with financials?"  I said yes.  He says, "well then we'll see how the next week goes and go from there." 

Translation:  You're done.  Within the next week, I was down to two days a week.  Believe me, it's fine by me, but it's the abruptness of it all.  He did the same thing when I was pregnant.  When the breeze blows, he goes with it and you just have to be ready.  Well, I was.  I knew from experience and I was ready. 

So my MIL is still coming once a week and I told my mom that she could watch the girls once a week covering the two days that I go into the office.  Of course, the dramatically reduced baby time for my mom and the reality that the we were going out of business was enough to send her straight to the doctor for anti depressants.   Which, she constantly talk about.  I think medicine is a wonderful thing, as Jeff is on some, but to tell everyone all the time is just drama.  But let me be frank: That's her problem.  Dropping the girls off for a couple of hours and not having to actually talk much to her is totally do-able. 

I am happy.  And if you could see me making the gesture to close a book, I am. This chapter in my life is closed and I am onto a great one, I am sure.

May 13, 2011

Commercial break

So, before what I hope to be my last post about the drama (and some things have transpired in just the last week, you gals are going to love!), I want to take a short commercial break and post about all sorts of things.

•For a while, Mother's day to me, meant having to put up with my mother. Last year's day was a nightmare because of family drama which included everyone being pissed at us because we wouldn't let them hold the girls continually because every one was sick and blah blah de blah. I don't want to relive it. This year's Mother's day was totally awesome. I will write more later, with pictures, but I have so much to say, I am going to move on. For now.

•I have chosen to beat my head against the wall for the past four days as I decided that the girls needed to be on table food right now. Let me back up by saying that I know that they are "too old" to be on jar food. I get stared at and asked a million questions when I buy jar food for them. The cashier's almost always say in a judging voice, "how old are they?" BUT in my defense, it's convenient. I am a stay at home working mom. (at least I was). Meaning, I had the girls with me all the time, but worked. It's easy to whip out a jar of baby food and give it to them. So, now that I have been home (I go into the office every wed and fri. It's blissful to be free. More on that in "drama: a history, part 4") I thought it was time to transition them. To make a long four days short-the girls didn't respond well to me just giving them finger foods and 'regular' foods. And after four days of screaming and a mashed potato food fight this after noon, I gave in and fed them jar food again. Bottom line is that I have to come up with a different method. Suggestions would be great. hint hint. :)

•My ex-boyfriend and his wife just had a baby today (ex, meaning: 14 years ago. It was one of those relationships that was hard to let go of. We re-united as friends about 4 years back). He texted me with the news. Yes, I am happy for him. I mean them. Yes, it stings quite a bit to know that they got pregnant so easily and planned it around her teaching schedule and it worked out beautifully. Yes, I wonder if it would have been that easy if I had ended up with him. Yes, infertility sucks ass. No. I wouldn't trade my hubby or my girls for the world. I just wonder, that's all.

•I work harder now, at home, than when I was working. I love it, though. The girls are, aside from the transition to table food week of hell, incredible. I am so lucky to be their mamma.

•I have lost 4 pounds since I haven't been going into the office on a regular basis. I attribute it to a)being happy. b) not being around people that eat junk all the time. c) trying to give the girls proper nutrition, therefore giving the same to myself.

•I had my first gig last weekend (check http://www.chellstrings.com/ for more info), and it was great! I love playing and I got some leads to more gigs. Hopefully, I can get more. :)

May 3, 2011

Drama: A History Part 3

First, let me just say that you gals make me laugh!  I really wanted to document this 'chapter' in my life and didn't even think that anyone would be interested to hear about it or read it!  I am glad that you do, however, and comment because it makes it a lot easier on me to continue to post about it. 

Second, I want to back up a bit and add a couple of details.  When I went on bed rest at 24 weeks, my dad cut my paycheck the very next week.  We had originally agreed that I would get a full check through the rest of the month (it was August 4th that I went on bed rest) as maternity leave/pay.  But I guess he was pissed that I left and that I was going to stay at home after the girls were born.  Even though I had been trying to prepare him for that very thing for the last six months.  It was our accountant at the time who gave me half a paycheck and she, bless her heart, told me that she would just keep giving me half paychecks until he stopped signing them!  It lasted 6 weeks.  The thing is-it's not like I planned on being on bed rest at 24 weeks.  He acted like I did it on purpose.  Now, since I left, he needed an estimator.  And who better than my brother in law. And while we're at it, let's give him $10,000 more a year to do the exact.same.job that I was doing.  Yes.  You read that correctly.  I didn't add too many zeros.  Also, that car I was driving?  Gone.  BIL needed it.  I offered to buy it and dad wouldn't even entertain the idea.  (this comes into play later in the story, so remember this.  I do.)  The cell phone?  Gone.  I was dropped like a hot potato.

Also, when the girls were in the NICU, my mom's top priority was to get them out of there.  She kept telling me to 'go and get them' and that 'they didn't need to be in there'.  I was still on magnesium sulfate and couldn't even have the lights or tv on... let alone get out of bed to go break my girls out of the NICU!  (not that I wanted to.  I love the NICU nurses.)  The point being that instead of saying to me, "you need to heal.  Don't worry about the girls, they will be fine."  She didn't give two shits about me, all she wanted was to see the babies. 

Now, back to the continuation of the drama.  I was going to try to make it a trilogy, but I don't know if I will fit it all into this last post!

So, dad agreed that I could bring the girls to work and I started bringing car loads of gear to the office.  Craigslist became my friend and I bought cribs, changing table, toys, highchairs, etc.  Everything we had at home, we had at the office because I didn't want to haul everything everyday.  And since I was going to be getting a paycheck again, I decided why not?  Dad acted all surprised at this.  At one point he said, "I thought you would just bring some blankets and a play pin."  Seriously?? 

I didn't argue for more money, as he brought me back at what I left at, because I had the freedom to have the girls with me and I was hourly so I could really come and go as I pleased.  However, I came back as the accountant and running brother in laws check every week was like a needle pricking me in the same place every week..  After a while it gets pretty sore. 

So mom came to the office 4 days a week and my MIL one day a week to watch the girls while I worked.  I was only supposed to work part time, but I worked 35-40 hours a week because I knew full well what 'part time' meant to dad. 

This worked okay for a while, until mom's main purpose was to fix lunch and talk and shmoose with the crew and business people rather than watch the girls.  And MIL was no better.  Lunch was a fiasco.  Both of them would start cooking at the girls morning nap (10 am) and then they would serve the food and then clean up usually working until their afternoon nap (2:30 pm).  I always bring mine and the girls lunch, so it's not like we benefited from this.  And there were several times that I had to remind each of them that it was time for the girls to eat.  The girls would just be playing in their area all the while this was going on. 

Then, dad got sick again during a very critical time for the business.  And who do you think stepped up?  Brother in law with the big salary?  Or me, cinderella?  (haha)  You got it.  Me.  I was dealing with bankers.  I was dealing with creditors.  I was traveling back and forth from mom and dads house to the office.  I fought tooth and nail to pump life into this business.  Dad came back and he also fought tooth and nail.  Alas, in January, dad had to make some incredibly hard decisions. 

Since the end of January, we have been breaking down the company and liquidating everything.  A very painful and slow process. 

And that's all for today!  Not because I enjoy leaving you hanging, but because I have to put it all together in my head before I write about it and it takes some time to sift through all this crap.  :)

April 27, 2011

Drama: A History, Part 2

And so, at 18 weeks pregnant, I went on restricted duty.  It was bed rest, but I convinced myself that it was restricted duty.  I worked part time and the other part of the time, Jeff was struggling to get the house ready for the twins arrival.  He had to do all of the cooking, cleaning, etc. Everyday, my legs and feet were the size of tree trunks and at this point, my blood pressure started slowly, steadily creeping up.  At 24 weeks, I was now on STRICT bed rest because of pre-eclampsia and contractions. 

It would be over the next ten weeks that the drama was really laid on thick.  My mom was at my house nearly everyday.  And if she was there, my sister would make herself welcome too.  I would tell my mom that I did not want my sister there, but there was always some excuse as to why she had to stop by.  Like, "she was bringing me my sweater that I let her borrow."  It was a nightmare.  I look back and think that half the reason my blood pressure was so high was because of the stress these two put on me. 

My sister, who's house looks like a tornado went through it all the time, decided to 'clean' my house because it "was filthy."  My mom decided to do laundry too, to make things easier on me.  Well several nights in August 2009, Jeff came home to a kitchen that was totally re-arranged (you know, because it was such a mess and all), clothes that were shrunk/ruined in the wash, a pregnant wife that could only sit there and have no clue what's happening downstairs, and someone always parking in front of his spot in the garage.  It's a wonder he didn't snap.  I would tell them not to do anything, but they would do it anyway.  Then they acted like they were SO helpful.  That we just couldn't have gotten along without them.  To this day, my mom tells stories about how much she helped me when I was on bed rest.

Then came the delivery.  Jeff and I decided....well, actually I decided, that I didn't want my whole family in the delivery room.  Now, because I was having twins, this was do-able because the actual delivery took place in the OR, just in case I needed an emergency c-section.  It was the before and after that was worrisome.  Just like we had anticipated, my mom and dad, sister, BIL, nephews, aunt's, and uncle's were at the hospital.  (Jeff's family was vacationing so they weren't there.  They were pissed at us for not going on vacation with them because I might have gone into labor... TADA!  I did go into labor.  It worked out for the best that they weren't there because we all know what happens when the two families get together! And since it was an already stressful situation, I think we avoided a potential war of the worlds.) They only allowed one other person into the pre-delivery room besides Jeff.  So there was all sorts of drama.  I had one tough nurse who stood up to my dad and at a certain point told everyone that there would be no one allowed back anymore.  Man oh man, was my dad pissed!  I love that nurse.  Finally, at around 11 pm.  Everyone left and I delivered at 1:32 am and 1:38 am.  My sister was mad because I didn't call her back to the hospital.

After the delivery, the girls were taken to the NICU, again causing a family uproar because they couldn't hold and love on the babies the minute they were born.  I was suffering from post partum preeclampsia and didn't get to see the girls for 3 days after they were born, but my parents were outraged that they didn't get to see them.  They didn't care to see me.  Just the babies.

During the first 9 months of the girls' life, they cried. and cried.  and cried.  To my incredible dismay, and to Jeff's as well, I had to have help.  My mom, AGAIN, was at my house nearly everyday.  She led me down the wrong path enough times that I stopped taking her advice.  (for example, she wanted me feed them cereal at 4 months old.  Adjusted age = 2 months old.... How crazy is that?!  To feed a 2 month old cereal.  Or she wanted me to give them whiskey water for everything-hiccups, tummy ache, teething)  Yet, she is the BEST grandma in the world, don't you know.  She gets so upset when I google something rather than take her advice.  Haha. I do it just to piss her off.

When the girls were 9 months old, my dad all but begged me to go back to work.  I had one condition-I wanted to bring my girls with me. 

And so, last July, the drama got moved from home to work.  (Which was a far better situation.  My home was my sanctuary that got infiltrated for a year.  Since I went back to work, I have reclaimed my territory and turned my home back into my sanctuary.)

However, the drama continues...

April 19, 2011

More on the Stroller

I wanted to elaborate a bit more in regard to the stroller.  Since the girls were born, we have used the graco duo glider travel system.  Which I really loved. 
Coincidentally, it is blue and gray also.  Not pink.  I used to loath the color.  It is the ONLY thing that we have that isn't pink! lol.  I used to get ticked when people couldn't tell if the girls were indeed girls or if they were boys and I blamed the color of the stroller because they are always dressed in girly clothes and colors and have pretties in their hair.  Jeff still teases me all the time telling me that I have got the cutest boys evah!  Anyway, it was so easy to unsnap the car seat from the base and snap it onto the stroller.  I was really smooth at this process (as I am sure every mommy gets to be) so that the girls wouldn't even realize that I moved them.  Often, I would get them home, move them into their room, and let them nap in their car seats.  The stroller is maneuverable, easy to fold, unfold, sunshades are good, good storage, fits through a standard door, and the girls are were comfortable riding in it.   I really thought this would be the one and only stroller that we would have to buy. 

HA!  Ignorance is bliss.

Well, the girls are fussy from the time I put them in it until the time I take them out anymore.  The one in back (either one) constantly kicks the seat of the one in front.  The one in front constantly squirms and kicks and tries to look at the one in back.  The back seat is angled and seems like the baby is going to slide right out if they weren't strapped in.  The 5 point harness is a pain in the arse to hook up, so I usually just use the lap belts. 

It was good for quite some time and I definitely got my money's worth and would recommend the stroller in a heart beat... BUT there is a possibility that the kiddos will 'grow out of it.'

So when I was looking for a new stroller, I wasn't looking for a 'jogging' stroller necessarily.  Let's face it, I am probably not going to go jogging anytime soon! haha.  I had a list of criteria (don't we all!) and this stroller met most of them.  (Again, I haven't got it yet, so much is to be determined)
  1. Side by side.  Obviously, it meets this. 
  2. Fits through door way.  The jury is still out on this one as some reviews said it does and some say it doesn't... It is 33 inches wide.  Standard (American) doorway is 36 inches.  It should...
  3. Good storage.  This has a big underneath compartment, plus it has pockets on the back of the seats for extra storage
  4. Maneuverability.  I made sure I got the pivoting front wheel, with the option to lock it straight.  Reviews said that the front wheel may wobble excessively, but there were also reviews saying how to correct the problem. 
  5. Nice canopy.  This canopy, unlike many others I looked at, ratchets to adjust to whatever position to provide shade.  So even if the sun is head-on, I can adjust the canopy. 
Those were specific criteria, and with this stroller, I got a few bonus features:
  1. Seats recline to several positions independently.
  2. mp3 player hookup with speakers.
  3. a "parent organizer with two cup holders"
  4. Quick release wheels
I also read reviews that stated for people with a long stride (I am 5'10" and my hubby is 6'0"), it is nice because you don't keep kicking the axle or third wheel (like double umbrella strollers, maybe?).  More over, most reviews said that it was a dream to push and that it could be pushed "with one finger." 

SOLD! :)  I can't wait to get it.

April 18, 2011

New Stroller

So, after reviewing jogging strollers for a couple of weeks, we have decided to go with the Baby Trend Double Jogging Stroller.  

It ships to us next week.  My only complaint so far (and hopefully at all) is that it is not pink.  I guess everything can't be pink. :(  haha

More drama posts to come. 

April 15, 2011

Drama: A history. Part 1

The first seven years of marriage, in relation to in-laws and my parents, were blissful.  Jeff and I were going to school and working graveyard and didn't have time for much else.  There were many, many times when Jeff and I wouldn't even see each other, much less would we make time to visit family.  I may have talked to my mom once a week.

My parents favor my sister tremendously.  I mean, they will bankrupt themselves, and pretty much have, so that my sister gets what she wants.  When I came to work for my dad, my BIL had been the foreman for 3 years already.  This is when the drama began, really, when I came to work for my dad. 

I took quite a hit in pay (12% actually.  Which is huge.)   I lost 4 paid weeks of vacation.  I lost medical/dental/401K/life insurance benefits.  And, in comparison to BIL, I was making less than he was.  Yet, I had the degree and 5 years experience in management.  They didn't even attempt to make it equal.  Not to mention the fact that I had asked my dad for a job years ago, but he said to go get my degree and experience first and then he would hire me.  BIL didn't have a degree.  He didn't have experience.  My sister whined enough, though. 

BUT, my dad was ill, so that's how it went down.  I did get a company car after a couple of months because I was the estimator at the time.  I got my gas paid for.  At the same time, my dad got deathly (he almost died twice within a couple of months) ill and I was tasked with running the company only a few short months after I started.  Plus, making the two hour trip, one way, to the hospital every.single.day.  PS-the following year, our profits skyrocketed and was the highest profit year in 32 years.    

There were a couple of dramatic years of getting to know my dad and family again.  I remember thinking this very thought when I started working with dad, "I wonder why they are so negative all the time.  I will never be that negative.  Such drama all the time."  I mean, I can honestly remember where I was standing (in my kitchen) and what I was looking at (the cabinet by the sink) when I had that very thought.  My mistake, obviously, was to say, "I will never..."

There is always drama.  And it resets daily.  So, one day, everyone is all caught up in how my sister is going to pay her bills because it's the 'off' season and BIL didn't get 40 hours.   At midnight, the drama resets and the next day it's drama to do with my cousin and how his glamour wife is walking all over him.  Midnight = reset.  The next day it's drama to do with my mom and how the nail lady offended her in some way.  And so on.  It wore thin. fast. 

Then, Jeff and I decided to start TTC.  This opened a whole new world of drama.  I mean, I couldn't even visit the RE without them wanting to know every.last.detail.  They wanted to know when AF came.  How heavy it was.  When it stopped.  What were my estrogen/progesterone levels.  How many follicles do I have.  And so on.  It was exhausting.  It was a nightmare.  The last IVF, I cut it all off.  I told them out right that I was going to keep the details to myself.  And of course, this caused a family uproar.  How would my great Aunt in Kansas live without knowing every detail?? Well, she lived, but I got plenty of guilt and grief laid on as a result of my silence.

And it only got worse as time went on.  By the time I got pregnant, between the fear caused by infertility and the all drama, I never enjoyed it.  In fact, I hated being pregnant.  By 18 weeks, I was on bedrest and the drama got moved from work to home.

.... To be continued.

April 11, 2011

My new song

Oh, how I have been a complete blog slacker... nah, nah, nah, nah!  haha.  Sorry I have been MIA.  I wish I had a good excuse, but I don't.  Well, I kinda do, I guess.  We (Jeff and I) recently celebrated our Birthday's last weekend.  Jeff made delicious BBQ.  He smoked a pork shoulder and made pulled pork with three different BBQ sauces to go with it.  We had both sides of the family over and everyone made it out alive, so I considered it a success!

It's not a secret that my family and Jeff's family don't get along.  In fact, they are like oil and water.  It used to be that they only had to get together one time a year, which was our B-day.  And since our B-day's are so close to each other (5 days), I consider them to get off lucky.  AND, since they girls' B-day's are on the same day (obviously!), now they only have to get together twice a year.   Again, I think they luck out.  They could have to get together 4 times a year!  (gasp!) 

The day went as Jeff and I expected.  My mom and dad showed up first to get in some "quality time" with the girls before everyone else arrived.  (Let's not mention the fact that they see them monday thru friday).  They were quite pissy when the girls were still napping and their plan didn't work out.  Jeff's sister and our niece showed up next with Jeff's Grandma.  Then my sister and brother in law show up with their two rambunctious boys.  The boys immediately are bouncing off the walls looking for something to get into.  (Heaven forbid, they bring something for them to do)  They run to the shed outside, but this isn't our first rodeo and Jeff locked it before the party.  My sister wants me to open her gift NOW because it's just so good that I can't wait and open it with every one else's.  Jeff's parents show up last, which is typical.  Jeff's mom shows up at least a half hour late to everything.  AT LEAST a half hour late.

By this time, the girls are awake from their nap and I put them in the dresses I made for them and bring them downstairs.  Meanwhile, Jeff is serving up the alcohol to take the edge off the room.  There is whispering and snickering coming from both sides.  I over hear typical conversations through out the party.  Jeff's mom calling black people the N-word even though we have told her time and time again not to.  (she doesn't mean any harm, she is just that naive).  Our niece gets offended because her boyfriend is half black.  Jeff's sister goes on and on about her strict diet as a diabetic, yet she is guzzling alcohol.  My mom comparing herself to everyone in every situation.  Only-if you have done something, my mom has done it naked and on fire.  My sister acting like mother of the year while her sons terrorize the house.  My brother in law is outside chain smoking.  (I wish I was out there with him even though I haven't smoked in 7 years!)

We get through dinner without Jeff coming unglued at someone for letting the girls eat off of their forks or drink out of their drinks.  (pet peeve of his... and mine.)  We had to run some interference, but mostly, everyone followed the rules.   Jeff and I opened cards and a few gifts, had some cupcakes and ice cream and everyone went home. 

Big sigh of relief.  It's over.  Until October anyway. 

...to be continued.  I have more to post, but I have to work a little bit today.  Here is a pic of Mickie in the dogs water bucket and an extremely jealous Maddie. ; )

March 28, 2011

100th Post

I was going to try to get all deep for my 100th post, but I am at a loss!  haha. 

Here are a couple of tidbits. 
  • I have decided to wait until the girls' ask me if they can pierce their ears and I will let them, whether they are in kindergarten or high school.  I feel like they need to want to do it.  I don't want to take the liberty for them. 
  • Jeff's and my birthday's are coming up April 2 and April 7, respectively.  We are having the whole fam-dam-ily over.  It should be a wing ding.
  • The girls will be 18 months old a day after my 32nd birthday.  I am 30 years and 6 months older than they are, almost to the day!  Funny, my grandfather was 60 years and 6 months older than me (to the day).  This makes him 90 years older than the girls.. Okay, 90 years and one day.  He passed just before the girls 1st birthday. 
  • I am so ready for spring and summer.  I can't wait for my garden this year.  I can't even remember my garden last year.  All I remember is taking care of screaming babies!  MAN, a year changes a lot.
  • Jeff and I are going on a trip in May.... A week long trip.... Without the girls.... (gasp!)....to the beach!!
  • My mother still drives me completely insane.  And my MIL is not far behind.
I would post some new pics, but blogger is s.l.o.w.   

Or maybe it's just my super fast Internet connection (can you sense the sarcasm?)

Last Year:  Feeling Better and Pic with Easter Bunny

March 16, 2011

All Over the Place With a Cherry On Top!

So, I am finally over being mad... Yes, it's true, us Italians can kinda hold a grudge!  haha.  Thank you all for your kind comments as I thought I was going to be ridiculed for being upset.  I know accidents happen, believe me, I think I am way cool when accidents happen.  In this situation however, I had warned MIL of the ramifications of such an activity a couple weeks prior, so I was more upset in the fact that she didn't head my warnings.  Plus, we have now blown our medical savings account for the year with one hospital visit and one follow up with the doctor... I know that my MIL would rather cut off her own limb than to ever hurt one of the girls. 

Anyway, it's over. 

Speaking of accidents, Mickie decided she wanted to fly, day before yesterday, and dove off the changing table! I was standing right there and my foot and Maddie broke her fall.  Mother of the year right?!  Get mad at MIL, but then let one of the girls dive off changing table!  Definition of hypocrite, I know.

One of my newest bloggie friends, Dolli-Mama (Don't cha just love that name!), wrote a post on getting her girls' ears pierced.  The part that made me laugh, because it rang true in my life too was, "It was a privilege, one that was earned after years and years of naked lobes and clip-on jewelry." (still giggling and nodding along).  Anyway, it got me thinking about when I was going to "let" the girls' pierce their ears.  I had to wait, so I figured I would probably make the girls wait too.  But her post has got me changing my mind!  Of course, I still need to discuss with DH, but I really doubt he will have any opinion on the matter. 

When I was pregnant with them I thought that if they looked too much alike that I would pierce their ears so that I could tell them apart.  They don't look that much alike  so that's not a problem.  Then as time went along, I thought that if they didn't grow hair (yeah, right-have you seen my hair?!) then I would pierce their ears to show that they were girls.  It seems to me that I am itching for a reason to do it!

Maddie is doing this funny thing lately, she furrows her brow and give you her serious look and then cracks up laughing when you do it back.  Maybe you have to be there, but it is too cute.

Mickie started shrugging her shoulders when I ask her if she is silly.  A very shy shrug, like "I donno...!"

Both of them pat/rub/show their tummies when they are full.

They both are interacting with other people really well. As you know, for the time being, I bring them to work with me.  They love to wave at the truckers (and the truckers love to honk to make them laugh and wave).  They love to play in the dirt and rocks.  Mickie smells the rocks and grins.  I am not sure what this is about.  The other day, they were dirty!  I had to change their clothes before nap time because they were like real little girls playing outside in the dirt!!  (as opposed to fake little girls?  idk?)

They are always so "busy" anymore.  They love for me to hang paper on the wall so they can color and make beautiful works of art.  They love to walk around and organize their toys.  One will be coloring and the other will be reading a book.  Or they will play their version of hide and seek. 

A couple of follow-ups:  Strong blonde - yes.  I give them their blankets at night.  I used to just have them in their HALO sleepers, but now, I give them their blankies.  AND YES, YES, YES we do need to get together for some wine! ;)

What IF - thanks for the link to Mel's new bloggy idea! 

Holly Ann- THANK YOU! for the blog award!! 

To accept this award, list three things you love about yourself:

  • I try my very hardest to be a good wife and mother.  I feel like I 'go the extra mile' whenever I can and that makes me proud
  • I am honest
  • I am the first to admit when I make a mistake and try to fix it and learn from it
Post a picture you love:

Pass onto 5 other blogs you love:

Twins Plus One, Three Times the Fun!  Right back atcha, deary!  I adore your blog and this award made me smile, indeed!

What IF - Talk about one incredible mama!

Life as Described - You make me laugh!

Strong Blonde - We have SO much in common!

Amanda - Hope your hiatus isn't too long! ;)

And lastly, before I hit the 'publish now' button, I just want to say to WiseBursche, your most recent post made me cry.  I am thinking about you often.

March 10, 2011

A trip to the ER

I am mad about the whole situation and I am trying not to be.  Every one is okay and I am glad for that, but I am just still reeling from the events.
In a nutchell:

We had to take Maddie to the hospital last night because she couldn't move her arm with out extreme pain... and screaming.  (How do I know it was extreme?  because I am the mommy that's how.  No really, she is one tough little monkey and when she gets an owie, she cries for two seconds and moves on.  When she would not settle after an hour and a dose of ibuprofen, I knew it was extreme pain)

She was diagnosed at the hospital with Nursemaid's elbow.  The doctor did his little thing and she stopped screaming and was back to 'normal'.  She is just  a little sore today.

She was in the care of my MIL and I was not there when it happened.  My MIL decided it would be fun to spin the girls around... hanging on to them by their wrists. 

I will post more, perhaps, if I find the right words.

March 8, 2011

Thanks for stopping by!

I really appreciate Multiples and More for featuring my bloggie!  If you are stopping by from there, thank you!  I hope you leave a comment so I can stalk follow your blog!

I am really trying hard to make this whole "I am an independent contractor, please hire me as a violinist for your next event" thing work.  I have gone to the extent to make business cards, fliers, and brochures.  The problem is the time to distribute such readings.  I am pretty much working two jobs and keeping up with the house and the girls.  I am okay with it, but I really hope I get a nibble soon!!  :)  I am going to try to distribute my readings tomorrow in mass quantities because my MIL has the girls. 

Speaking of the girls!  They are doing great... Well, with the exception of the full onset of tantrums.  And the lack of nap time.  We are working through it, though.  Both of them love the freedom of walking and I think they wonder why they waited till recently to start!  They both are very independent and have mastered the stairs pretty well too.   I need to remind them sometimes that the first step is a doosey if they are not turned around (to go backwards), but mostly they don't require, nor want, my help. 

We got them some out door toys because they LOVE to be outside.  LOVE it.  Which is great except when it's bad weather and they stand at the door/window and scream.  We got them golf clubs and Mickie has mastered putting already.  It'll be great to tell stories about how we got them their first set of clubs when they were only a year and a half!  Maddie is more of a soccer player and loves to kick the ball.  Well, right now, she actually loves it when you move her leg for her to kick the ball!  She'll get it on her own pretty soon, I am sure.  

They are also discovering the joy of coloring and I am really happy to see that they don't try to eat the crayons (too much)!

March 1, 2011

Secret Option C

So, I appreciate your feedback about my work path.  I am just in limbo right now.  I am still bringing the girls with me to work as we continue to liquidate (which, btw, is a longer process than I expected) and I am still getting paid.  I do have unemployment lined up, just in case because that's just who I am.. Always trying to prepare for every situation. 

For the last couple of weeks, I have been working on what I am calling 'secret option c'.  If I take anything away from my experiences, here at work, it would be learning that you can make a career out of practically thin air-IF you have the right tools. 

Here are my tools (in none other than bulleted format):
  • I am a violinist.  I have 22 years experience.
  • I am, imo, computer savvy
  • I have what it takes to be an independent contractor
  • I am very motivated
With these tools, my hope is to start a new career.  I have been working on my web page: http://www.chellstrings.com/.  I have a business plan and I am going to make a go of it!  Wish me luck as I roll out my web page in the following weeks and try to network to get my name out there. 

I have a family member, K, who is getting married in July and I am going to ask to play at her wedding.  Her sister got married last year and had over 300 guests at her wedding, so I am thinking K's wedding is going to be big too.   That would be cool.

I can SO do this!

February 18, 2011

No Fitting Title

So, thanks for listening to me bitch a little bit on the last post!  I am having a hard time deciding on my career direction.   I have a couple of choices (in letter format-for a change of pace!)


A.  Hold out as long as possible working with my dad as we shut down the business.  I am still getting a paycheck as we liquidate things.  I am still working on closing the books and get to bring the girls to work with me.  This process could take a couple of months still.
A1.  When we get all the business stuff wrapped up, I could file for unemployment and 'be okay' for a while and stay at home with the girls.
B.  Actively pursue a job and escape the drama that goes along with option A and A1 and take the girls to a babysitter or get a nanny. 

I think option A is what I am leaning toward, it just all that drama that accompanies it.  I mean, I feel like I am up to my ears with drama.  And while I get to have the girls with me, and that is the most important thing, it is so hard to deal with.

Just this morning, mom tells me that I need to get the girls a hair cut.  I said, why?  She said, it's all straggly.  Um-excuse me!?  My girls hair has NEVER been straggly. 

I think it wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't a hatchet with the handle sticking out.  (old garth brooks anyone?)  It all goes back to the way they treat me and my sister differently.  My sister has always had a silver spoon sticking out of her mouth and mom reloads the spoon and sticks it back in, even to this day.  I, on the other hand, have worked for everything I've got. 

It's like this: they tell me that I need to buy the girls new shoes.  My sister, when the boys were young, would drop them off at mom's with no shoes, no jacket, not even out of their pj's yet.  My mom would go and buy the stuff for her and send it home with the boys. 

This is a glimpse of my life (in a nutchell!) but almost every situation follows suit.  Just like the computer I had mentioned a couple of posts earlier.  I asked dad how much he wanted for my work computer and he told me $300-$400 dollars.  The VERY NEXT DAY, he gave my sister a printer for free.  I bought a new dell for $446, including tax and delivery.  Classic. 

Last year: Giggles

February 17, 2011

Seriously?

Be fore-warned that this post is a quick bitch fest. 

I am so damn tired of my MIL and my parents telling me how to parent my children!  I mean, get a f***ing clue will you!!!  They are always telling me something that I 'should' be doing.  Something that I should be buying (you know, cause I am made of money).  Something that I am doing wrong.  Pisses me off. 

I stopped taking their advice long ago.  But it still annoys me.  I wish I didn't have to hear it at all!  It's always:

*the girls need new shoes.
*they don't need a jacket to go outside! it's not that cold.  Your being over protective
*oh-that schedule isn't going to work.
*they are too young to not nap all day (really?  DUH.)
*you need to get them another bean bag
*you need to buy another movie.  they don't want to watch baby signing anymore. (no-it's cause YOU don't want to watch baby signing... yet get all happy when they sign.  Hypocrites)
*you need get the blender out and feed them anything that you eat.
*you need to stop giving them a bottle.
*they didn't want to eat, so I gave them cheese
*they don't want to take a nap right now (...but it's okay to send them home with you all cranky because I am too selfish and want baby time to put them down for a nap)
*on and on and ON!

I mean, it's all the damn time!  I have told them, time and time again, that I (ME!) am the mom.  I make the decisions.  I chose what I think is best.  UGH.  I am so f***ing irritated.

February 16, 2011

Bath Time

Our bath time tea parties have reached a whole new level.  To me, this looks like it has child social services written all over it!  I was going to title this post: "puff, puff, give!"  But decided against it.  :)  They are actually sipping some cold water out of their tea pot.. although it looks kinda like a bong.




Good times, though, in the bath.  See for yourself!  (daddy is encouraging such fun!)

video

This video was after washing, playing, brushing teeth, and splashing.  They hate getting out of the tub.  I think they would spend hours in there if I let them! 

February 15, 2011

My Valentine


February 14, 2011

A lunar halo, Maddie walks, and Mickie's in control

So, Jeff and I are lucky enough to have a hot tub (and the money, for now, to run it when it's sub-zero temps outside).  Last night, as we were getting in, we looked up and saw this:


OK, yeah, this wasn't taken with my camera!  I don't have those kind of skills, BUT, this is exactly what it looked like.  Beautiful.  We sat and enjoyed.  I googled it today to find out that it means menacing weather is coming... :(

Alas, Maddie has perfected her walking skills! 

video

And I just can't imagine how you could make that into a bad thing... Most everyone that I associate myself with says, "oh, just wait till they walk-your in trouble!"  Well, I think it's great!  I don't have to carry them everywhere!  :) 

And finally, Mickie trying to turn on Elmo:


It's funny because both of them point the controllers at the TV or stereo and sometimes hit the right button! 

February 10, 2011

So a couple of random thoughts, in no particular order.  Bulleted, of course.

  • I am not having any luck finding a job.  Well, actually, I got a job.  A really, really great job.  One that doesn't get plopped into your lap everyday.  High salary, profit sharing, 3 weeks vacation, five minute commute, etc.  BUT (isn't there always a but?), one of their major clients cancelled an order so they don't have the budget to hire me. It's not a total loss, but I can't rely on it coming through.
  • I am having a really hard time dealing with my mom/family (Strong blonde, Amanda - I know you can relate).  It is such a long story, and I want to share it, but don't have the energy to type it out.  It feels like I am reliving it.  I am SO close to cutting all ties with my mom and, consequently, my dad.
  • I have ordered a new computer so that I can blog at home! and oh, yeah-look for a job too! I wanted to buy this one (my work computer) but my dad asked me for 400 dollars for it.  UM, I got a new one for 450 (including tax and delivery).  (this is a small piece of the very huge drama pie)  Still, I am so excited for my new computer!
  • (I am in parenthesis heaven)
Last Year: Just Plain Cute!

February 4, 2011

Snow Day






 This is what my snow day brought!  Actually, I stayed home because Maddie wasn't feeling good (I think she got dehydrated) and lets face it: my job is not exactly go-go-go.  SO, there you have it.  However, it did snow yesterday afternoon.  We were supposed to get about an inch, but got about 7 inches!   The girls loved it... Well, Mickie loved it.  Maddie-not so much.


I am sorry I haven't commented on all of my friends blogs.  I am grateful for the support and the comments during this transition with my job.  I will try to be more on the ball next week!  (Just know that I am reading-even though I may not have commented.. yet)