October 18, 2010

Who's the mom here?

What is it about parents?  I don't know about anyone else, but I have a real problem with my parents and Jeff's parents (mom) telling me how to raise my kids!  Or maybe it's the fact that we (the girls and I) are around them too damn much. 

I love, love, love the fact that I can bring the girls with me to work.  I love that I don't miss anything. 

What I don't love is that my mother is here every.stinkin.day (four days of the week anyway).  Jeff's mom is only here once a week, but between the two of them-they drive me batty.  It's mostly little things they do that are different from the way that I do things.  I TRY to let things go over the weekend, and I am usually able to regain my sanity, but on Monday-here we go again. 

I try to remember that they are not hurting the girls and just because it is a different way of doing things, doesn't mean that it is wrong.  I try my hardest to give them the benefit of doubt.  I try. 

The thing is-If it was innocently different, it probably wouldn't bother me as much, but it's not! They make it perfectly clear that they want to do things their way!  Well-I am not having it.  Consequently, I have to watch over them.  Circling above them on everything, like a hawk over pray.  If I don't like something, I swoop down and make it right!!!  (try to imagine the sound of a hawk or eagle :)

Some big hitters include (in bullet format):

  • Both mother's think that feeding time is play time.  Rather than holding the bottle in the girls' mouth, they play and tickle and distract from eating.  My solution:  Over the weekend, I have "trained" the girls and put them on the fast track of holding their own bottle.  (I know many babies do hold their own bottle already, but since I didn't breastfeed, I didn't rush this step because I don't mind doing it to being close with them while they eat.)
  • My mother (not so much MIL) has to constantly be reminded to wash her hands!  I don't think this needs any explanation.  My solution: Hand sanitizer everywhere and some good smelling Bath and Body hand soap.  I also clorox wipey their toys and constantly wipe everything down despite being looked at as "anal" and over protective.  (The girls were sick TWICE in September and since then, I have turned up the volume on sanitizing everything and they haven't been sick since.. knock on wood)
  • When I put the girls down for a nap-I leave them there.  I don't go back in 50 times and re-suckie them and hold them and (try) to rock them.  They will never go to sleep if I/they do that because I have not conditioned them that way.  My solution:  Tell them time and time again to leave them be. 
  • Both mother's were brought up to give the babies whatever they eat.... Grind it up and give it to em!  Um.  No.  I refuse to get them hooked on salt and sugar and fat when they are barely a year old.  My solution (that doesn't always work): provide enough food for the day.  They still push the envelope every time.  When I want them to eat stew (or tacos, sausage, dilly bars, reeses pieces, corn nuts(!), chips, orange juice, and on and on), I'll let them know.
There are several more things that we don't agree on.  And the old saying, "you get what you pay for" stands true here.  I don't pay them to watch the girls.  But I have to ask myself, would it make a difference if I did??  I don't think it would. 

Does anyone have any tips on how to handle these situations?


~Hollie said...

Don't live next door to them, LIKE I DO!!!
I have battled this kind of stuff with my MIL since I was married. Oh gosh, lots of tears and anguish on this one. If you find a solution, pass it on. If you need a sympathetic ear, Im here!

Teresa & Connie said...

I've been gone for sooooooooooooooooooo long. But this post reminds me so much of myself lmao! It'll get better as they get older, I promise. Things just work themselves out. I've noticed that my anal ocd has transferred to Maddax (not Katie tho) so he tells the grandmas how things should be. I don't have to anymore haha! Do you have a facebook??