July 13, 2010

Twilight Zone

That's where I am.

First of all-the girls tests all came back fine. They don't even have acid reflux enough to be on medications for it. This is really great. (And at the same time-incredibly frustrating.. Not that I want anything wrong with them, but all the screaming and intolerance to solid food is evidently in my head.) I am SO happy that they don't have some rare disease and that they are over all healthy. That is the most important thing to me.

Unfortunately, for me, I am imagining all the trouble that we have feeding them every. single. feeding. I am imagining the fact that if they have anything other than formula they will kick their legs, arch their back, and scream.

Alas, there is an explanation: They were premature and their digestive systems, although working, are not as developed and work "slower." The food that they eat, sits in their stomachs and takes a long time to digest. There are medicines that speed this process up, but we are not choosing to go down that road because of severe and permanent side effects that may occur. We are hoping, instead, that as they begin to crawl and move around they will outgrow this and their digestive systems will speed up and move "faster."

As a matter of fact, Mickie is crawling pretty good and hasn't had trouble in a week or so. I am hoping Maddie will crawl soon too (she is trying).

The doctor said not to get too concerned if they won't take solid foods until they are a year old. At that point if we are still having trouble, then we are to call him. (he is a great doctor btw). In the mean time, we just give them formula and a multivitamin. We are taking them off the prevacid and zantac.

So, if what you read between all these lines it should say: "GRIT TEETH. (check). BARE IT. (working on it).


Now, as for my hubby and I. We are not filling out divorce papers (yet!). I appreciate all of your comments to let us know that we aren't the only ones going through this. Thank you. We are also seeing counselor to talk about some important issues. DH and I have been together for 12 years and both of us know what it takes to make it work. We'll get through.


Work is pretty good. It is hard to let go of some things that I am used to controlling. For example, the girls are gaining weight and doing really good. (what you don't see is the man and wife behind the scenes force feeding them). Now, give the girls to a grandmother who "just can't force feed them" and we have a problem. One eats good, the other doesn't so the one that ate good takes a good nap and the other one is hungry and BLAM! the schedule is off. Or I get them to work and one is sleeping and the other one wakes up and BLAM! the schedule is off. But these are the kinks that we are going to have to work out.

Overall, I am just hanging in there, although I DO feel like I am in the twilight zone most of the time.

PS-Did I tell you that I would have more time to blog because I am "working?" haha!

1 comment:

Kahla said...

Wow, where to start. I'm so sorry you didn't get a magic cure, wouldn't that have been nice?? I always say that I just knew my kids would be perfect in every single way since I went through so much to get them, and then reality hit! ;o) Hang in there, hopefully they are right and as they crawl it will work itself out!

I honestly can't imagine the challenges with two, I'm on my second kid and she still seems to kick my butt most days even though it's just her! Kudos to you!

I hope things work out with your marriage, IF can be so hard on a couple. As if marriage isn't hard enough w/o it. I'll be sending lots of prayers ya'lls way from our little spot in Texas!