July 28, 2010

Having it all-Is it a myth?

Why can't I have it all? Do you know anyone that does have it all? My idea of having it all includes these things:

  • a wonderful marriage
  • two wonderful baby girls (check)
  • good health (check)
  • dependable cars (check)
  • a job (check)
  • money enough to not struggle (check)
  • two great dogs (check)
  • a wonderful house (check)

You see, it took so long to get the second thing on my list that the first thing is no longer "checked". Why can't I have it all? Seriously, am I asking too much? Can all of those things not be achieved all at once? Does something have to give? Is my plate too full?

Apparently so.


~Hollie said...

Aww, Chelle. No, its not a myth. It just takes work. And with any job, you concentrate on different areas at different times. Its a struggle and especially after IF. Angel tells me that I'll NEVER be happy. HUH? I guess for me, I've been striving so long for the second thing on your list (well, mine's a boy) that I forgot to nurture the first thing.
Hopefully it will just take time to rebuild. Hugs to you, your girls, your hubs, AND the doggies!

Amanda said...

I think it's a myth. Even if you had a check for everything on that list, you would think of something else to put on it... like the girls being able solids without screaming :) Even when we have it all, it's still in our nature to want more.

Maybe it's more important to ask yourself everyday, "Am I happy?" If you aren't, then why not? Obviously you would say no right now due to the marital issues. What would it take for you to be able to answer that question with a yes?

But I do agree with the PP. What ever your philosophy, happiness takes hard work. And I'm sure that you have been working so hard lately, so hard on so many things. Is there something that you can cut out or take a break from to make it easier to focus on other things right now. Things you may not have even thought about... NO TV, stop making dinner a couple of times a week (frozen pizza or take out is better than divorce), hire a housekeeper, babysitter. I don't know if this is even remotely possible with the girls, but can you find a way to move up sleep in priority (earlier or more consistent bed time)? It's easier to deal when you have rested... I feel a lot of sympathy for twin parents because I was at my breaking point with 1 for awhile.

I don't know anything about how your marriage works, but I know I don't have enough patience for my husband. He on the other hand has A LOT more for me. So I take more than I give most of the time, but I do try to make the gesture when I can tell it's wearing on him. We understand this about each other, but that doesn't mean that we don't have to have an argument to press the "reset button" on a frequent basis.

I don't want to tell you to keep working on it, because truly, not everyone should stay married. If there is abuse, addiction, or adultery, I say get out quick. But hopefully that is not your marriage and there is something that you find a way to save. Good luck.

Kahla said...

Man, my blog is not updating when you post, so I had no clue this was here! Stupid blogger.

It's hard, but I think it's possible. What is that line, "it's not having what you want, it's wanting what you have."

I hope ya'll are able to work things out, I know it's tough but it'll be worth it.


My Bumpy Journey said...

I agree with Amanda- it is myth. It is what society has led us to believe it "it all". I think you have to do what is right for you to be happy, therefore your girls to be happy also.
I agree- it does take a lot of work. When all your emotions and energy were focused on the girls, the thing you took for granted was left to founded. You took it for granted b/c you thought it could never change, and always would be a consent in your life. The sucky part is that marriage is like a yard (go with me here), if you don't do maintenance it gets overgrown with weeds and get out of control. Even the flowers and shrubs that you put in, and were once so beautiful are neglected, overgrown and withering.
It takes a lot of work to get that yard back in shape!

Like all my analogies. LOL! I am full of them.
<3 you!